Moha - Don't Put Up With People Who Put You Down
Did you ever have a relative or so-called friend who consistently said demeaning and critical things to you? "Are you going out dressed like that?" "You’ll never amount to anything!" "Why don’t you go on a diet?" and so on, and so on. Are you still going through this? If so, why are you letting this go on? You are having your self-esteem, energy, and spirit be diminished or extinguished. Even if it is claimed that these comments were being made "for you own good", if you look at it objectively, you will see that they have not brought you any benefit and in fact have caused you to suffer. Understanding this is "Moha".
Technically, Moha translates from Sanskrit as "Delusion". Philosophically though, it is much more. There are probably billions of people in the world right now who understand the real meaning of Moha. Because of this, they lead their lives in a much saner, rational, inner peace-producing manner than we do in America and other countries where the concept of Moha is virtually unknown. Basically, it means that you put up with stupid (although not necessarily unintelligent), mean spirited, or negative people just because you have some kind of nostalgic connection to them. So, if they happen to be related to you, have known you for years, work with you, have the same friends, or whatever, they feel entitled to bring suffering into your life. Sometimes this comes in the form of physical, mental, emotional or spiritual direct personal attacks, and sometimes just by their own ongoing habit of expressing negativity about life and things in general. And you continue to let them be part of your life. Pretty delusional reaction, isn’t it?
So, now that you know about Moha, you must, for your own well being, cut these people out of your life. It is very much like the suggestions that AA, NA, and other 12 step programs make - don’t associate with people, places, or things that will bring you down. It is really very simple. If something brings you peace, it is "good" and should be encouraged. If something takes your peace away, it is "bad" and must be eliminated from your life. Sometimes, because of economic situations, like your job, or due to relationships, like your in-laws, you must continue your physical contact with the people who you realize are "bad" to and for you. You must then at least divorce yourself mentally and emotionally from reacting to their comments.
As a matter of fact, you can gain from seeing them for the pitiful beings they are and feel compassion for them. After all, they have to wake up every morning and spend all day in their own miserable company. But you must never let them "get under your skin". You owe nothing but compassion to anyone whose words or actions cause you to suffer. This will free you to create a life full of those things that you have found to be "good" for you. And you will live happily ever after.